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chris on the moon

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Everything posted by chris on the moon

  1. Three houses is weird as fuck and embarrassing, but you can't seduce your students in it. It does feel and look like you are though, and takes playing through basically the whole game to realise that it's not as bad as it looks.
  2. My uncle works for nintendo and he says that mario has been diagnosed with a serious heart condition and isn't allowed to take part in anything too stressful or exciting, so he's retiring from games. He also said that nintendo are going to give up making games completely - partly because mario's retiring, partly because they feel like they've made enough games and they just can't be bothered any more. They're also going to take all the rights to all of their games and fire them into space so that nobody can make any more of their games ever again. That's why this rumour is wrong and there will definitely never, ever be another mario kart ever again. I stake my reputation on it.
  3. I think they're going to release a new wrecking crew instead.
  4. The new years treat has just started on c4
  5. That silver for the last boss battle, the one I thought I'd never be able to do, since I couldn't do it without losing pikmin? I just got a platinum first time on the switch version. It turns out you're just judged on time and you can let pikmin die. Ffs 7 years ago Chris
  6. I listened to so much this year. I bought a lot too. Barely an of it turned out to be released this year. My favourite track was this cool cover of a country song by Choir Boy You are a tube Spot ify Band camp
  7. VOTING TEMPLATE Game of the Year 2021 A1. Psychonauts 2 this game was cool A2. Halo infinite my opinons here. Don't click here if you don't want to read them. A3.Deltarune chapter 2 I'm intrigued how making different choices will work in this game. Can't wait to play this over and over again exactly the same way every 3 years until it's finished or I die. A4. Age of Empires 4 I assume the forum hates this game since there was no thread. I enjoyed the campaign, played so much I made myself sick, lost badly at online and then uninstalled it. A5. Subnautica below zero Quite good but not as good as the first. Game of the Year (premiered anywhere pre-2021) B1. B2. B3. Biggest Disappointment of the Year Z1. No advance wars. Advance wars on the GBA was delayed in Europe so I guess it's a homage but I still hate waiting longer than expected. Z2. Z3. Sound Design of the Year S1. S2. S3. Visual Design of the Year V1. Psychonauts 2. It looked really really interesting. V2. V3. Writing of the Year W1. W2. W3. Format of the Year F1. PC. 4/5 of my top 5 are xbox game pass for PC games. Way to go microsoft Publisher or Developer of the Year P1. Microsoft game studios. See above.
  8. 01 - Nuovo Testamento - New Earth 02 - Hannah Peel - Fir Wave 03 - Deerhoof - Actually, you can 04 - Riki - Gold
  9. Finished it last night. Buckle up, becuase here are my OPNINIONS. Mostly criticisms. Sometimes it felt like halo, and I think that's a great because I like halo. I really enjoyed most of the open world bits. Thought it was a totally great game but then the last third or so was a turd. Or so. The story is utter shit. I don't understand or care who many of the characters are or what's happening. Cortana's obsession with the master chief is bizzarre and creepy. I don't like the stuff the aliens say. Grunts trying too hard to be funny, I just feel sorry for them, and not convinced that they're even aliens. Jackals should never say anything. Encountering the skirmishers is like fighting a rabid Judi Dench. They're all saying stuff that I couldn't believe they were speaking alien translated into English. It's just English. I'm sure some of the enemies even call you a "hero"? Everything's gone a bit hooray for the military support our troops AMERICA. Even all the weapons and vehicles have to have a military designation. It's sci fi, it's fine to just be a battle rifle OK? It's the only halo game where I've struggled with the controls. Trying to input the konami code just to select my grenade and equipment isn't intuitive, and it stopped me from doing what I was trying to quite a lot. Not sure about the enemy variations. It's inconsistent. Grunts with shields! Brutes that you can kill in a few shots and then brutes with overshields that rain death from two hundred meters away. Brutes that run straight for you! Brutes that act like elites, brutes that act like grunts! The balance isn't great. I often felt like I was cheating or being cheated. The hunters are overpowered. On heroic they'd just look straight at me and blast me. It reminded me a bit of games where the enemies have no AI. I had to change the difficulty down to normal for the last pair and they were still a challenge for me. I liked some of the indoor bits, they reminded me of the first Halo. But then they'd be better if they were a quarter as long. Bosses were garbage. No thanks. Checkpoints don't work very well. They also don't mean you can quit out and return - not sure why they made this change. They're triggered in weird places too. Don't withhold me a checkpoint just because I don't want to listen to some bullshit hologram. It's tragic watching people get crushed to death every single time I order a vehicle. They've survived this long. Multiplayer is OK but again I don't like the style choices. I could do without all the posturing and dramatic music and hilarious AI quips. I'm not even going to try to engage with learning what a battle pass is or any of this paid for shit. Huge section of the map with nothing in it. Why's it there? There are also a lot of places with interesting features but nothing to do there. Someone's obviously gone to some effort designing them but there's nothing of interest. Or there's groups of enemies in the middle of nowhere - you can fight them if you want, but there's no reason to. It feels unfinished that way. Having not played 5, I think this is probably the best zombie halo. But it's still zombie halo, and my fascinating opinion is that halo shouldn't have been made after bungie left.
  10. Are you supposed to be able to lower the difficulty, do a section, and then put the difficulty back up? Because my game is just not having it. Every time I quit out and pit the difficulty back up it removes my progress and puts me back where I was. Or is it just the checkpoint saves being broken? Because they are. It's like every time I've quit the game and come back to it I've had to replay a section. Sometimes a few minutes , sometimes half an hour. And I've also had checkpoint saves where I wasn't safe, or when i was in the middle of firing a weapon at an enemy. And often the game won't trigger a checkpoint save unless I stand still and watch the riveting story!
  11. I eventually bought indiscretions of archie and have just finished reading it. It was good fun. I probably enjoy the blandings stories more but it was still entertaining
  12. I enjoyed wandering around half of the original xbox room. Then my little guy got stuck in the air and everybody was raptured in to the sky. The my museum thing, as observed, doesn't really work. It also doesn't include any Xbox PC Games which messes things up a bit.
  13. I thought both the witness and hollow night were horrible but I don't think that's anything to do with ageing. I don't think games age the way they used to.
  14. This time, the machine accepts the coin. You sense a sudden change. You feel very aware of your surroundings, as if you have been summoned back to reality, awake after a long and confusing nightmare. The zombie hand disappears as though it never existed. You sit in the toy car waiting on the imaginary tarmac for your game to start, and you think about the last fifteen years of your life. You think of how young you were then, the future you were unaware of. You try to think what you have done with your life. What exactly did you do? Surely you weren't playing video games the entire time. You think of all the opportunities you had, and how you wasted them. All the possibilities that are no longer there. All of the doors are closed. You didn't notice them closing at the time, but from here you can clearly see that they did close, and you struggle to imagine when that was. What was the precise moment that your fate was sealed? When did your future die? You screech slowly off the starting line. The other cars disappear into the distance. You're never going to catch up with them. Everyone is long gone, and they're not coming back for you. You can't have the last fifteen years back. The game is meaningless to you now. The bright colours and loud music pass through you like the wind blowing through a barbed wire fence. The game can't bring back the past, and it won't improve your future. But you play on anyway, lagging so far behind the competition that it's as if you don't exist. What else can you do? It's RIIDDDDGGGEEE RACCCCEEEERRRRRR!!!
  15. is a lot of this British culture? Or maybe even English speaking culture? One of our things seems to be perpetual negativity. And not being allowed to just like things, or have a nice time.
  16. I think the genre has really expanded. Maybe it's a bit less specific than it used to be. I've found now I really love some of the games and am totally bored by some of the others (that other people say are good).
  17. I have that ironing board. And those scissors.
  18. The space station silicon valley one is the one that immediately came to mind for me. It wasn't even late in the game, it was on the very first level! It was a shiny trophy thing. The idea was that if you got all the shiny trophies you'd turn in to a super robot on the last level. So naturally I wanted to get them all and spent hours trying to figure out how to make the first one collectable. Thought I had to do something then I could get it.
  19. There is a new series of this starting tonight at 10:15pm on channel 4
  20. Victoria CMs approach to the welly cam task was especially bad. Hey Victoria, what do you think the unique selling point of the welly cam is? It's a welly! You can wear it as a welly! Fuck that I'm showing it some pictures that I drew!
  21. Great post chris. I basically thought she looked a bit like Rowan Atkinson. I didn't think last nights episode was very good... The tasks weren't particularly inspired and the contestants didn't do anything that out of the ordinary.
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